Color and More Color. And Santa M&Ms. Weird.

So. To celebrate my birthday in the traditional style, my mom and I went for a walk at the Arboretuem. 3 miles. In 16 degree weather. It was fun. No, really, it was. It was brisk and invigorating. I feel like you might not be totally believing me, but I lie not. It really went fast as we had not walked there for over a week and we gabbed the whole time. It was the perfect activity. And, bonus. They had an orchid display inside the building. So color. And more color. I do not crave color as I had two days prior.

A burst to be sure.

This one I just liked for the stripey-stripes. It is not a wow-your-socks-off-with-the-color but it still has impact. It looks like it has swollen adenoids, doesn't it? Or is it just me that see that bloating?

This makes me simultaneously think of Fruit Strip gum and a tropical fruit that smells like feet. Is that bad? If we can't be honest, what do we have?

I've always like pink and yellow together.


This one just scares me. It like it might be the signature flower of a Disney evil nemesis. A nemesis named Pantagrela....And she flies. and this is her signature flower.

Do you see the yellow M & M character disguised, or trying to be disguised, with his green shades and Santa beard? Maybe going down the water slide or else doing the marimba? Is it only me that sees it? Does something happen to your brain when you turn 39?

It Was Almost Gone.

The huge mounds of snow that were dumped upon us had almost disappeared, thanks to an early February thaw. Muddy yards, brown lawns, dirty cars, all the suffering we went through a couple weeks ago....poof. We got maybe 5 or so inches of fresh snow last night. Crap.

I will reluctantly admit that I did enjoy the clean slate feeling. Cleaning things up around here with a new blanket of clean, white, sparkly snow. The Raccoon Baby in me can't fight the Syndrome. I am easily distracted, Mother Nature. Yet, now we have to go through it all again; the melting, the mud, the brown, the dirt. Eh. It is a part of the cycle, yes. And realistically, you have to be a total meth head to think that winter in Minnesota is over mid-February. Seriously? People laugh at you if you think this is reality.

You do not want the ridicule.

You do, however unrealistic, want THIS.
A little Spring Lovin'.

A little burst of color.

A promise of a tease.

Color, Baby. I miss colors other than brown, gray and white.

I am not sure that I can make it. I lie. I know I can make it and I know it happens every year. The Teasing Thaw. The Sweet-Ass-Pie-We-Made-It-Through-Another-Winter-Yay-Us!!! Feeling.

Don't get me wrong. I like winter. The walk this morning in the fresh powder snow, sunlight glinting on it all sparkly-sparks.

I am craving Spring. Not to the point of the dreaded Fever. But craving it nonetheless.

Tuplis shooting up out of the ground. That might be part of the reason I like them, especially around my birthday.......which means you only have one shopping day left, people. It's tomorrow. I think I like them the most in February when I get some for my birthday and it means spring......Spring......is near. Tulips I can take or leave in April when they are all over the place and everyone is yelling about them. But for my BDs....I'll take Tulips over most other flowers any year of my life.

Even my lunches are craving color.

I am not craving swimsuit season, though. THAT would be crazy talk. And we just don't talk crazy this early in the game around these parts.

I'm Back. I Think.

I can't believe it has been five weeks. Poor Form, young (maybe not so young) lady, poor form. Super Sorry. Let me fill you in. GREs, Advisory Thingy, Sophie.

I have decided to take the GREs in March. Great, super, I have been thinking about getting my Ph.D. for the past year plus. So, this GRE thing is a step in the right direction, yes? Yes. Especially for the impulsive (me: I think I will get my Ph.D. Wait, the deadline is in a week for applications and I need to take the GREs? Eh. Maybe next year. Repeat.), Procrastinating (me: see previous.) and generally lazy. Ta-Da! Perfect description of me the past year regrading this. Maybe not taking action, it is more deciding to make a decision. Typical moi. Stew and fester and look at it from all angles, and stew some more and then decide to make a decision and then fester a little more and go back and forth and then.....make a decision. Christ. It is mind numbing.

So decision made to at least take the GREs is a step. In the right direction. It doesn't mean that I have ultimately decided to go back to school (Again)but at least I would have the option when impulsiveness strikes again. Done.

Also, this week I began the advisory thingamajig. Not too time consuming last week, but now we are really getting into it. And I like it. I really like it. So far. I didn't think I would like teaching about teaching this much. I mean, I knew I kind of liked it: When I got my master's I played with the idea of becoming a facilitator for the program but never did. (Shocker.) But I am really enjoying this, it makes me realize how much I have learned since first becoming a teacher.

Then there is the always time consuming preparations for President's Day festivities. I kid. There was a lot of general not being able to decide what to write about or just not feeling up to it. Eh. Winter.

Addtionally, and most sadly, Sophie. I have been meaning to tell you all and certainly have been, truthfully, working up the courage to write. I wanted my next post to be about her and how much of a part of our lives she is. Was. We decided to put her to sleep February 2nd. I thought that today I could write about her and not cry. Nope. Failed. Two weeks later the tears are still there...here, the knot in my throat, the wiping my snot on my sleeve (Ish, I know. Sorry, perhaps an overshare.). But these occurrences are happening less and less as I, we, get used to the absence.

It was, as many of you who have had to make such a decision, incredibly hard. I have never had to have my big girl panties on for this kind of stuff. My parents did the heavy lifting with our family dogs, or I was out of the country or something else excuse related. But as He Whom Shall Not Be Blogged About said: "If you get to be there for the good parts, you also have to be there for the bad parts."

And so we went. We made the decision the Friday before. Over a month of deteriorating health, mobility, muscle control and general Sophie-ness. She was the BEST dog I have ever had. Ever. A personality that is rare. And a hole in my heart exists that hurts multiple times a day. I write this not because I want sympathy or attention, but simply because I want to put into words what I am feeling and somehow get it out of my heart. And be done with it. I am not naive enough to think that I will stop missing her or being occasionally sad because I have now blogged about it, but I want to move on, past this mess. Not forget her, certainly not, but take one more step in the process of grieving and everything associated. Was she a pet? Yes. Was she a part of our family? Yes. There is no proportional response to grieving important parts of a family. She was part of ours and while she was "just" a pet, it doesn't make the hurt any less or any less felt.

Did we give her the best life we could at the end of her years? I don't think we could have done anymore. I really, truly, don't. And that made the decision humane, and just a little---a smidge--easier. It was fast. It was painless. We were both there. Done.

And on that note, I am done. We have talked about getting a puppy this summer when I can be home for Puppy Kindergarten and training. I look forward to it. We are Dog People. Capital letters. Mourning her and grieving forever does nothing to bring her back or honor her, in my eyes.

Over and out.

Tapping the Silver Maples.

I think we might be going to try to make our own maple syrup. This winter/spring. I am pretty sure I might regret it. I am not so stupid as to say, "How hard can it be?"

Have you thoughts?

Shoveling and Sundry Items

I gotta say it...Shoveling and I are so not BFFs. Our driveway is red rock gravel which is fine in the summer, pretty mucky in the spring, okay in the fall unless there is a lot of rain, but the winter.......not fun. In the beginning, it seems like I am shoveling half rock, half snow.

Right now, our current issue is the recent thaw of a couple days that has produced a beautiful, glorious inch to inch and a half of wonderful.....ice. Clear, smooth, and slippery as all get out. Both of us have had trouble staying upright on it. Which makes shoveling easier because it is smooth, but more difficult because well, you are on a sheet of ice.

I am such a complainer. Let's change the subject.

I have a new part time job. I am an advisor for curriculum for a summer exploration program for high school students at a fancy-schmanzy college out east. I am excited because it is a virtual job meant to be done over the computer. Sweet. I had to make contact with my advisee before the first of the year and set our three week work period. Let's just say that it didn't go well in my brain. I had to call back and change the date as when I went to write it on the calendar of plenty, I realized a scheduling conflict.

So, I called her back.

Which was great, as she had realized that she has a conference in the middle of that period, so we set it for a week earlier. As I hung up, I realized that I kept saying March but I meant February. Crap. Double crap. I knew I said March as I could hear my voice in my head. Mind you, I had just called her back the second time not more than 4 minutes after our first conversation. But, what if she understood March instead of February? Then, she is thinking she has a month more time before we get all Nitty Gritty Dirt Band.....and no one wants that.

So, I called her back.

I really know how to make a fantastic, competent, professional first impression. She is most likely hashing it over with her family over dinner. Stellar. Eh. Gotta let that one go. Wish I could take back those last 10 minutes, but oh well. We all do something similar every now and then. At least when she answered the last time I was laughing and saying something to the effect of I am not as incompetent as this in real life. (For those of you keeping score, she understood it to mean February 9th and not March 9th. Phew. An embarrassing moment for nothing. Great.)

On an up note, I still have most of a week left of break. Which is good because I have not done jack with the school work that I wanted to get done. I don't even remember if I brought home stuff to correct. That is how complete the mind break was. It has been fantastic.

I have been dreaming of Italy. No shocker there, but it has been like three nights in a row that Italy has figured into the dreams that I remember in some fashion. Hmmmmm. It doesn't mean anything portentous as I usually think about going through, traveling in, or moving to Italy in some fashion almost every day. It has not reached obsession status, although it sounds like it, it is more of a casual pastime, really. It is my favorite country I have been to and I like daydreaming about it as a moment of escape from school, families at Christmas, winter......shoveling.

Aim High.

One must have goals. Mustn't one? (Say "mustn't one" three times fast. Does it sound like a rancid appetizer? No? Must just be me then. Huh.) So. Goals. Having them. Here were my goals today. Let's call them my "goals". As opposed to my "real" goals. My on the DL goals.

My "Goals": Get up, go to locally-owned, non-chain, coffee place that I heart. Preferably with my Sweet Baboo. Come home. Clean the entire house in, like, 2o minutes. Take the dog to the groomer to get nails cut. (I could totally do it if I HAD to, but the nail quick part kind of ooks me out. And, the groomer totally cut one to the quick and it looks like it hurts, but she is a professional and probably wouldn't start sobbing if it happened. Just sayin'.) Go work out. Lose 12 pounds in three minutes because of said stellar workout. Come home, shower and do something productive. Go to department Christmas party. Come home. Sleep through 3:30 am, unlike the last two weeks.

Now, those are my goals on paper. Let's look at my "real" goals. My "Answer Like a Guy" goals. (We play "A.L.A.G." a lot at our house. I tend to use a lot of words. Ones that might or might not need to be said out loud. I verbally vomit my thoughts as I think them and share my whole process of decision making. Which doesn't really work out well for the audience because I am not convinced that, if I had to, I could make a decision to save my life.

Seriously, like "K. You must choose a favorite color or we kill you. K. Go." And most likely, my answer would be something like this: "OH, oh my...okay. Uhm, my favorite color is green because I really like the different shades and my eyes are green and it signifies new life, but I also like red because it is bold and fiery and the color of watermelon which is also green so it sort of works out perfectly because red and green are my two favorite colors. It's like Christmas, but I also really like the silver at Christmas time with a bright, bright blue or another jewel tone. I can't really pick a favorite color because it is totally situational. Sorry. Kill me." At which point the listener-slash-killer in the story has killed himself.

The A.L.A.G. version: "K. You must choose a favorite color or we kill you. K. Go." Me: "Green. See ya.")

Back to my goals: Here's how it has gone so far.....let's call them what my "Goals" should have been because then this day would be a RockStar success:
Wake up and stay in bed next to the Space Heater. Watch the light and day emerge. Make a real breakfast of toast, eggs, and breakfast sausage. Screw the fancy coffee and make a pretty damn good cup of coffee. Make lunch for Sweet Baboo. I heart him, and I make his lunches with extra love most days. Correction: On the days I do make him lunch, it is with extra love. Check e mail for the first time in three days. (That is like a bajillion years in So...There...Then Time. Seriously.) Fart around and putter for about 45 minutes. Take Sophie to the dog groomers (Thing Number Two I will Never EVER Do To My Dog: Express the anal glands. Enough said.) Go workout. Decide to listen to music and read trash celebrity mag while sweating instead of the planned "Think Deep Thoughts About My Life". Worked out much better this way.)

After work out, came home. Checked my e mail. Farted around and puttered some more. What? I am really good at it. I did, purely for show, dust the buffet and the shelves. Oh, and watered plants.

Turns out that when my mom brought over a Christmas Rosemary Tree yesterday it was a double whammy good gift. We don't have a Christmas tree this year, so...done. And it also turns out I committed my 39th planticide. My rosemary that I transplanted from the garden to a pot so I could have it inside over the winter. Friggin' died. All on it's own. It was like it wanted to make me feel all bad and killer-y. The new Rosemary Christmas Tree came with a booklet that specifically said: "Rosemary is a plant that will not come back from too little water as a houseplant." Great. Is this common knowledge? That is my main approach to plant care. "Oops. Forgot to water the last two weeks, they look kind of droopy." Then I water the crap out of them and they come back to life and look good. (Usually. Thus the 39th planticide discovered this week.)

So. There. Then I went to The Crack Box(Target) and got a gift for the party tonight. Then, to pick up Sophs. Home for lunch and blogging.

That should have been my original plan. I think next time I take a PTO day I will have official plans to do whatever the crap I want. Which is what I end up doing anyway. Plans are overrated.

I might take a nap. I might not. It might matter, it might not. The point is, people, everyone should have a figurative day to hangout in their jammies with the footies on the bottom and play with legos. There doesn't always need to be something to be done or dealt with. Having said that, at some point today, I do PLAN on vacuuming up the half of a dead cricket that has been at the top of the staircase for the past week. I guess maybe we should have some goals. My original plan of ignoring it and it disappearing doesn't appear to be working out so much.

Fave?

Baby shower last night. Book theme. And wine themed. The beauty of adopting? You can drink. Oh.....and the whole bebe thing.

I had been trying to get a handle on what might be my favorite children's book.....I cannot be forced to say "of all time". There is just no way, my friends. Let's go for random books that pop into my head that I am able to remember from childhood that I loved.

Near the top, for sure, is the classic: "Where the Wild Things Are." How can you not love this? Unless, maybe you were a scaredy cat. That's cool. Embrace it. (wuss.)

Actually, anything by Maurice Sendak. We did the musical version of the Nutshell Library in 5th or 6th grade. I can still remember what's-his-name singing "I don't care!" as Pierre. And "I'm Really Rosy". Ah, good times. Do you know the Nutshell Library? I almost got it for the baby shower.
Strongly recommended.
Always a fan of Harold and the Purple Crayon. I coveted that damn crayon. You lucky bastard, Harold.

I think it was called: Max and the Flying Machine, Except for I can't find the cover picture so that might not be the name. I can distinctly remember the pictures. This kid, whom I had previously thought was named Max, turns out it is anybody's guess. So, this kid decides to build a flying machine and he takes an apple crate and turns it on its side and scavenges all this junk to piece together a machine. And he ends up cruising around flying, but I can't remember if it was for reals or just in his imagination. I really liked it. When I worked at the before/after school care center, they had a copy and I was gonna stickyfingers it and have it "accidentally" appear in my bag to go home and then "forget" to return it. But then, one of the little people took it and didn't put it back in the library and so I couldn't find it. Maybe the Mystery Reader was a Junior Klepto. You never know, do ya?

I never had Goodnight, Moon. I don't get the appeal. Sors.
Those are just a few of mine......what was your fave?